To Drive
5/15/20232 min read


I had this post sitting in my drafts for a year β until my mom gave me this little gift: she lent me her beloved car, El Cachicho π, for several months so I could take an epic road trip to southern Chile β where I ended up living β and, along the way, overcome a deep trauma in my life.
When I was two years old, I experienced physical and emotional abuse in a car, from someone very important to me.
At 17, I took a driving course, and although I liked driving and it never felt difficult, something stopped me from getting my license and launching myself into the wild chaos of the concrete jungle. I tried again at 25 β and the same thing happened.
I thought it was my resistance to fossil fuels, my strong criticism of cities designed for cars rather than humans, my refusal to join a system I found obsolete, my love for bicycles β and a long etcetera.
And yes, all of that was true (and today, in a planet crying out for healing, itβs truer than ever).
But there was also something else β something unconscious and symbolic π§Ώ
I never really understood what my fear was. I analyzed it endlessly.
But after a lot of introspection, therapy, and traveling, I can finally say with peace: I understood it, and my reality has changed completely.
Today, I drive my life in whatever direction I choose.
Today, I am in my power.
I decide my course.
I hold that responsibility, that right, that pleasure.
Itβs mine.
In my micro-world, driving a car is no longer a reminder of trauma.
Now it invites me to sing karaoke, to head wherever I please, to celebrate that yes β we do overcome, and to honor resilience itself.
Today, I am my own best justice-maker, my own historian, and my own psychologist.
And I also know that no matter how much you analyze yourself, the answers are more emotional than mental β and beyond everything, the heart can do it all β€οΈ
Everything can be re-signified. Everything can be healed πΉ
Long live the honoring of our personal stories in all their shades β and long live my mom, for her part in my journey of liberation π
