To Drive

I had this post sitting in my drafts for a year — until my mom gave me this little gift: she lent me her beloved car, El Cachicho 🚘, for several months so I could take an epic road trip to southern Chile — where I ended up living — and, along the way, overcome a deep trauma in my life.

When I was two years old, I experienced physical and emotional abuse in a car, from someone very important to me.

At 17, I took a driving course, and although I liked driving and it never felt difficult, something stopped me from getting my license and launching myself into the wild chaos of the concrete jungle. I tried again at 25 — and the same thing happened.

I thought it was my resistance to fossil fuels, my strong criticism of cities designed for cars rather than humans, my refusal to join a system I found obsolete, my love for bicycles — and a long etcetera.

And yes, all of that was true (and today, in a planet crying out for healing, it’s truer than ever).

But there was also something else — something unconscious and symbolic 🧿

I never really understood what my fear was. I analyzed it endlessly.

But after a lot of introspection, therapy, and traveling, I can finally say with peace: I understood it, and my reality has changed completely.

Today, I drive my life in whatever direction I choose.

Today, I am in my power.

I decide my course.

I hold that responsibility, that right, that pleasure.

It’s mine.

In my micro-world, driving a car is no longer a reminder of trauma.

Now it invites me to sing karaoke, to head wherever I please, to celebrate that yes — we do overcome, and to honor resilience itself.

Today, I am my own best justice-maker, my own historian, and my own psychologist.

And I also know that no matter how much you analyze yourself, the answers are more emotional than mental — and beyond everything, the heart can do it all ❤️

Everything can be re-signified. Everything can be healed 🌹

Long live the honoring of our personal stories in all their shades — and long live my mom, for her part in my journey of liberation 🌈